Fable 3, Doodle God
I tried to play Fable 3 today, and I am just mad about this. After a fairly engaging cold open, you’re thrust into a world that makes no sense. As the younger sibling to the super evil king, you met up with your lover (who lives at the palace apparently) and walk around the poorly designed palace full of people, just people, that you can’t really interact with, because your only options are shake hands and belch, and at one point I see this chicken that looks like it was hastily cut and paste onto the scene, it looked so out of place.
I’m rambling…anyway, eventually some people die because your brother is a dick, and then you and your butler run away in the night to a cave that cannot possibly be underneath the palace, all while hearing a bunch of nonsense about you are a Hero, capital H, which apparently means something. That is literally your only motivation for doing anything; I guess if you weren’t a Hero, you would just have to get over your lover being killed. But after wind being constantly being blown up your butt with non-stop and obnoxious talk of destiny and fate, you are sent to do three tasks by some cranky old guy, and it just does not feel right. The humor sucks, the interactions feel pointless, the various requirements seem arbitrary (one time I couldn’t continue because I wasn’t wearing a doo-rag on my head), and the engine is sloppy, with fair too many game-breaking slips and clippings. Also, why can’t there just be a menu? Why do I have to go visit John Cleese to change my clothes?
Also “played” Doodle God, despite the fact that it isn’t really a game, just a tool in which you’re asked to guess which arbitrary combinations they’ve decided will create something else. I have no idea why this is so popular…or why I bought it.
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