What I Played Today: September 14

Regency Solitaire, Desktop Dungeon, Cities: Skylines, Final Fantasy VII, The Walking Dead: Season Two

HEY! Guess what I came home to today! Oh, just my internet connection being borked enough to require a technician to show up and fix it! Hahaha, fuck you, random squirrel who the most likely culprit. So I tried to entertain myself with games that didn't require a web connection.

First, Regency Solitaire, which is a perfect fine game. It definitely still exists.

Then Desktop Dungeons, which I could not get into at all. Don't even know why I mentioned it!

I played Cities: Skylines for 15 minutes. It is definitely a city management game. I have not gotten to the part where it is interesting, and frankly I don't want to right now.

I had been stuck in Final Fantasy VII for a while at the part where you have to capture a chocobo to ride across the marshes, and it is apparently the most annoying thing ever! I had forgotten how annoying it is! I had forgotten to equip the Chocobo Lure materia (why?) and once I figured that out, that chocobo had a tendency to run away pretty much constantly, even after I throw several ghysal greens at it. BUT I finally found one, and crossed the marsh, and met up with the Turks again, who told me a whole bunch of stuff that I definitely didn't remember. (Did...did I beat up Reno?) So I stopped playing.

So I guess we see what Clementine is up to.

When last we left our heroes(?), they were running away from completely fucking the only safe place within a hundred miles. Sarita almost immediately gets killed, so...good work on Clementine for cutting off her hand for no reason, and Kenny is pissed. Clementine managed to escape the horde (herd?) with Rebecca and Jane, and Jane starts on this thing that starts to get really annoying; complaining about how much of a dick Kenny is. It's literally all she does.

We make it to the rendezvous point, and everyone wants you to talk to Kenny, who has fallen into a dark place. Clementine does, and it doesn't go that great, but everyone is worried about the others (THERE ARE ALWAYS OTHERS) so Jane and Clementine go and look around. Jane teaches some sick moves, and you manage to save Sarah and Luke from being overrun at a trailer park. Nick, unfortunately, has turned and is a goner, oh well.

So you make it back to camp, where things are worse, because Rebecca is now having that baby she has been threatening to have for three episodes now. You have to find a safe place! And you need Kenny! Because he is literally the only person who can deliver a baby?! You do manage to talk Kenny into getting over it, and everyone splits up to find a good place to have a baby. Just any old place.

You go with Jane and find a building with an upper deck, and some supplies, so that's good. But then while you are standing about, some weirdo with a leg brace carrying a bag full of medicine wanders over, and you obviously rob this moron blind. WHY WOULDN'T YOU? The fuck is this guy? Why is he alone? This is stupid.

So you head back to where every is, and it turns out Mike and Bonnie aren't back yet, so you have to go the museum ANYWAY, and looking around at some Civil War bullshit, which Clementine really shouldn't have to deal with, frankly. You fight a zombie, then you chase a raccoon, and everyone has a good time, hahaha.

Anyway, it's time to regroup and head to the deck, because zombies are coming. (Zombies are always coming.) You accidentally walk in on Jane and Luke just finishing some sexy times, and then you fortify the deck, but shit goes bad and the deck collapses and Sarah dies, because everyone goddamn dies. But the baby is born with only a SLIGHT moment of assuming it was stillborn, and everyone feels kind of okay. Clementine holds a baby, and then Jane fucks off, and then it starts snowing and everyone starts arguing.

And guess who starts coming over the horizon! Why it's that dipshit with the leg brace! What was your name again? Arvo? That's a weird name. Is it Russian? Oh it is! Does that mean you have several Russian mafia assholes planning an ambush? Oh, it does! Great great great. Oh, and apparently Rebecca has died because there are no damn hospitals, and she turned into a zombie. (DID these jerks ever figure out that you turn into a zombie when you die no matter what? I don't think it's ever been stated.) So Clementine does the right thing and shoots Zombie Rebecca in the brain, but that means the Russians also open fire, and cut to black.

Oof this is definitely still happening. Clementine has literally run out of any connection to the real world, and I continue to run her as someone who kind of doesn't give a shit anymore. Sure, she'll help people, but only because people constantly demand it of you, you, a goddamn child. This is so goddamn unfair. All of it. Also, what the fuck is up with Arvo?