The Walking Dead: Season Two
Let's end this.
So the shootout with the Russians turned out a lot better than you'd expect! Everyone managed to dive to cover and nobody died! Luke got shot, sure, but whatever, literally everyone gets shot. Everyone dies except Arvo, and Kenny decides to be a real dick to him, because Kenny is now the biggest asshole in the world. Guess who hates that? JANE, who apparently decided to come back so she can continue to give Clementine cryptic stupid lectures. Arvo eventually reveals where his group of criminals have been hiding, and Kenny force-marches everyone there. Oh good, more walking.
A bunch happens; a zombie exists, you get to change Kenny's wound, everyone talks about the baby, Luke feels like a big baby and gets all pissy when someone calls him on his toxic masculinity, and you eventually find a power station to hang out in for the night. The few remaining survivors have decided that they are kind of done with social niceties, and starting drinking and talking sex in front of Clementine, because fuck it. Kenny becomes an overprotective dick about this and runs away, and Jane continues to mistrust everyone for no reason, so the group decides that it is up to Clementine to fix everything...AGAIN. You talk Jane to sit by the fire, and then Kenny to sit by the fire, and you all talk some shit for a while, but Mike tries to be nice to Arvo and it kills the mood, and then everyone goes to sleep feeling sad again.
The next day you finally find the place that Arvo was leading you to, which is a house under construction on the other side of an iced-over lake, which is less than ideal, but uh oh there's a lot of fucking zombies (SERIOUSLY, where the fuck do they keep coming from?) so you gotta book it across the lake. Arvo does something, I don't know, it gets Kenny angry, and Luke gets stuck on a thin piece of ice, with zombies approaching. Both Luke and Bonnie are yelling different instructions, and I decided to cover Luke, because he's a smart guy, he can probably figure this out. Apparently not, because Bonnie is an idiot and tries to save Luke, which leads to both of them being going under, and Clementine tries to save them, but Luke eventually drowns, and Bonnie escapes but is fucking pissed. Kenny beats up Arvo, Mike hates Kenny, Jane hates Kenny, someone hates the baby, I'm sure.
Kenny finds a truck and gets it working, and then everyone argues about where to go. Kenny wants to go north, literally everyone else wants to go south. Kenny gets mad, again, and everyone decides to just...talking about it in the morning. Except Mike, of course! Mike decides to steal the truck with Bonnie and Arvo, and you try to talk him out of it, but then Arvo shoots you through the shoulder, because Arvo is a little shit.
So Clementine loses consciousness, and has this weird dream about that time when Lee and the others were in the camper after Doug got shot? Why that particular moment? I mean, it's the last moment before things get really bad, but...what about during the months in which they were living comfortable at the motel? What's the point of this scene? Is it to remind us how the character models have changed? Because that's the biggest thing I noticed.
Anyway, Clementine wakes up, and she is stuck in a speeding truck with Kenny, Jane, and the baby. Kenny and Jane are just at each other's throats, and Clementine tells them all to goddamn stop it. You get stopped because of a pile-up on the highway, and Kenny gets out to...do something? Jane immediately suggests that we just fucking leave him, and Clementine is all "fine, whatever, I'll drive," but it doesn't go well as you crash. Jane bails with the baby, leaving Clementine alone with zombies who refuse to stop moving.
You eventually find shelter in a rest area. Kenny is there, and he's like "WHERE THE BABY?" and then Jane shows up sans baby and they both decide that's it's the final scene of a kung fu movie and start beating the shit out of each other. Clementine shouts and shouts, but they've both fucking lost it and there's nothing to be done. Eventually Kenny is overpowering Jane and Clementine has a gun. What does she do? Oh, just lets Kenny kill Jane and then shoots Kenny in the head, because, literally, fucking literally everything happening. I patiently wait for Clementine to turn the gun on herself, but then she hears a baby's cry. Surprise, Jane didn't kill the baby after all. So Clementine picks up the baby and...just starts marching. She comes across a horde of zombies, covers herself in viscera, and just marches right into it. Maybe she dies! Who knows.
This was...grim. Grim grim grim. I really liked the scene at the power station, where everyone just let goddamn loose, but then the rest of the game happened, when the group fell completely apart, was just painful and dull and pointless and I completely stand by my decision for Clementine to just let everyone she has ever trusted die and go off on her own. Because fuck Kenny, fuck Jane, and let's go ahead and fuck the entire Walking Dead mythos. When do we get a sequel to The Wolf Amongst Us?
Let's end this.
So the shootout with the Russians turned out a lot better than you'd expect! Everyone managed to dive to cover and nobody died! Luke got shot, sure, but whatever, literally everyone gets shot. Everyone dies except Arvo, and Kenny decides to be a real dick to him, because Kenny is now the biggest asshole in the world. Guess who hates that? JANE, who apparently decided to come back so she can continue to give Clementine cryptic stupid lectures. Arvo eventually reveals where his group of criminals have been hiding, and Kenny force-marches everyone there. Oh good, more walking.
A bunch happens; a zombie exists, you get to change Kenny's wound, everyone talks about the baby, Luke feels like a big baby and gets all pissy when someone calls him on his toxic masculinity, and you eventually find a power station to hang out in for the night. The few remaining survivors have decided that they are kind of done with social niceties, and starting drinking and talking sex in front of Clementine, because fuck it. Kenny becomes an overprotective dick about this and runs away, and Jane continues to mistrust everyone for no reason, so the group decides that it is up to Clementine to fix everything...AGAIN. You talk Jane to sit by the fire, and then Kenny to sit by the fire, and you all talk some shit for a while, but Mike tries to be nice to Arvo and it kills the mood, and then everyone goes to sleep feeling sad again.
The next day you finally find the place that Arvo was leading you to, which is a house under construction on the other side of an iced-over lake, which is less than ideal, but uh oh there's a lot of fucking zombies (SERIOUSLY, where the fuck do they keep coming from?) so you gotta book it across the lake. Arvo does something, I don't know, it gets Kenny angry, and Luke gets stuck on a thin piece of ice, with zombies approaching. Both Luke and Bonnie are yelling different instructions, and I decided to cover Luke, because he's a smart guy, he can probably figure this out. Apparently not, because Bonnie is an idiot and tries to save Luke, which leads to both of them being going under, and Clementine tries to save them, but Luke eventually drowns, and Bonnie escapes but is fucking pissed. Kenny beats up Arvo, Mike hates Kenny, Jane hates Kenny, someone hates the baby, I'm sure.
Kenny finds a truck and gets it working, and then everyone argues about where to go. Kenny wants to go north, literally everyone else wants to go south. Kenny gets mad, again, and everyone decides to just...talking about it in the morning. Except Mike, of course! Mike decides to steal the truck with Bonnie and Arvo, and you try to talk him out of it, but then Arvo shoots you through the shoulder, because Arvo is a little shit.
So Clementine loses consciousness, and has this weird dream about that time when Lee and the others were in the camper after Doug got shot? Why that particular moment? I mean, it's the last moment before things get really bad, but...what about during the months in which they were living comfortable at the motel? What's the point of this scene? Is it to remind us how the character models have changed? Because that's the biggest thing I noticed.
Anyway, Clementine wakes up, and she is stuck in a speeding truck with Kenny, Jane, and the baby. Kenny and Jane are just at each other's throats, and Clementine tells them all to goddamn stop it. You get stopped because of a pile-up on the highway, and Kenny gets out to...do something? Jane immediately suggests that we just fucking leave him, and Clementine is all "fine, whatever, I'll drive," but it doesn't go well as you crash. Jane bails with the baby, leaving Clementine alone with zombies who refuse to stop moving.
You eventually find shelter in a rest area. Kenny is there, and he's like "WHERE THE BABY?" and then Jane shows up sans baby and they both decide that's it's the final scene of a kung fu movie and start beating the shit out of each other. Clementine shouts and shouts, but they've both fucking lost it and there's nothing to be done. Eventually Kenny is overpowering Jane and Clementine has a gun. What does she do? Oh, just lets Kenny kill Jane and then shoots Kenny in the head, because, literally, fucking literally everything happening. I patiently wait for Clementine to turn the gun on herself, but then she hears a baby's cry. Surprise, Jane didn't kill the baby after all. So Clementine picks up the baby and...just starts marching. She comes across a horde of zombies, covers herself in viscera, and just marches right into it. Maybe she dies! Who knows.
This was...grim. Grim grim grim. I really liked the scene at the power station, where everyone just let goddamn loose, but then the rest of the game happened, when the group fell completely apart, was just painful and dull and pointless and I completely stand by my decision for Clementine to just let everyone she has ever trusted die and go off on her own. Because fuck Kenny, fuck Jane, and let's go ahead and fuck the entire Walking Dead mythos. When do we get a sequel to The Wolf Amongst Us?
No comments:
Post a Comment