The Walking Dead: Season 2
So, things went pretty poorly last time. And we were captured. That's bad, right?
It starts in a van, going somewhere. Everyone I know is tied up and scared as shit about this Carver guy. Kenny is all gungho for escaping, but he hits his head on something or other, and you get brought into Carver's camp, which is run exactly like a dictatorship, by the by. You are taken to the shitty quarters, which is the part of Home Depot you never visit. You know, the fenced-off outdoor area? Yeah, there. And guess who is there! Three new characters! There's Mike, who is a cool, reasonable Lee-alike, Jane, who is a loner, and Kumail Nanjiani! Hey Kumail! Your voice acting here in mildly distracting!
You immediately start plotting your escape, because that's how you do, and after a bit of runaround, you go to bed. Then you are roused at the break of dawn to get to work, because it's not a prisoner camp without random goddamn work. You meet with Bonnie, the redhead who betrayed you before, who is so sorry for betraying you. Yeah, great, thanks. Then you hang out at the strip mall, where there's a random zombie attack, sure, whatever, and then you meet Luke! Luke is hiding out in a comic shop that inexplicably only has Image Comic posters on the wall. That's pretty weird, I wonder why that is. Anyway, Luke has a plan to break you out, and it involves you stealing a radio. Okay great.
And then I get to hang out with Kumail! He is tending the greenhouse, and gets a couple of children as assistants. Fellow child Sarah is kind of worthless, on account of being smacked by the only person she trusted earlier (don't worry, Carver forced that to happen to. He tend to cause shitty things to happen), so you try to help her out, and then Carver shows up to be very disappointed that we weren't snipping dead branches on tomato plants fast enough? Okay, this seems like a pretty minor problem, frankly. Something that could wait a few days. Surely it's not worth tossing Kumail off the top of a building to his death oh christ what the fuck Carver why are you so awful? RIP Kumail Nanjiani's voice acting. You were mildly distracting.
So I immediately decided that Carver can go fuck himself and if he's willing to kill a fucking child, he can go do it. I turn on him immediately, telling on him to his confidantes, straight up calling him a murderer to his face, jus grinding his gears. But he likes it, giving me the old "you're not so different, you and I" speech. Blech, fuck off Carver. It does look that he's been beating Alvin for no reason, so...that sucks. Eventually the crew gets it shit together and comes up with a plan, involving both bathing in guts and coincidentally getting everyone else killed. To prepare, Clementine steals a radio, and we prepare for the zombie horde in route.
The next day, everything goes according to plan, except how it doesn't and everyone is being watched closely and split up and Luke was found out and Kenny gets beat nearly to death because he took credit for something you did. Morale is low among the dissidents, but it's determined that we can totally pull this off, right now, as Clementine goes and turns up the PA system to attract the zombies, and tries to save Alvin but fails, and the group breaks out and corners Carver and hey, Kenny wants to return the favor! I decide that I...kinda don't need to see this, so now it's time for the escape part, which involves everyone covering themselves in zombie guts to sneak through the horde.
This, surprisingly, doesn't go well, as Sarah freaks the shit out when her dad is inexplicably bitten, and all hell breaks loose, including Kenny's girlfriend getting bit on the wrist by some random zombie. Clementine has to think fast; who do you attack? The answer is the wrist of the living person, because apparently that's how things work in zombie land, and with a scream, the episode is over.
It was surely the most intense episode so far, with the whole intrigue and Carver being a complete ass and so forth. But the fact that things just kind of completely went off the rails at the end makes this the least focused episode too. I mean, there were several characters I didn't even bother to mention. Because who cares, they weren't important in the end. It's mostly just bodies. That's the thing about the Walking Dead; every new character you meet is just a indicator that one of the older characters is going to die. It's just a random rotating cast of 7-9 people until the last episode. At least make one of them Bill Murray, dammit.
So, things went pretty poorly last time. And we were captured. That's bad, right?
It starts in a van, going somewhere. Everyone I know is tied up and scared as shit about this Carver guy. Kenny is all gungho for escaping, but he hits his head on something or other, and you get brought into Carver's camp, which is run exactly like a dictatorship, by the by. You are taken to the shitty quarters, which is the part of Home Depot you never visit. You know, the fenced-off outdoor area? Yeah, there. And guess who is there! Three new characters! There's Mike, who is a cool, reasonable Lee-alike, Jane, who is a loner, and Kumail Nanjiani! Hey Kumail! Your voice acting here in mildly distracting!
You immediately start plotting your escape, because that's how you do, and after a bit of runaround, you go to bed. Then you are roused at the break of dawn to get to work, because it's not a prisoner camp without random goddamn work. You meet with Bonnie, the redhead who betrayed you before, who is so sorry for betraying you. Yeah, great, thanks. Then you hang out at the strip mall, where there's a random zombie attack, sure, whatever, and then you meet Luke! Luke is hiding out in a comic shop that inexplicably only has Image Comic posters on the wall. That's pretty weird, I wonder why that is. Anyway, Luke has a plan to break you out, and it involves you stealing a radio. Okay great.
And then I get to hang out with Kumail! He is tending the greenhouse, and gets a couple of children as assistants. Fellow child Sarah is kind of worthless, on account of being smacked by the only person she trusted earlier (don't worry, Carver forced that to happen to. He tend to cause shitty things to happen), so you try to help her out, and then Carver shows up to be very disappointed that we weren't snipping dead branches on tomato plants fast enough? Okay, this seems like a pretty minor problem, frankly. Something that could wait a few days. Surely it's not worth tossing Kumail off the top of a building to his death oh christ what the fuck Carver why are you so awful? RIP Kumail Nanjiani's voice acting. You were mildly distracting.
So I immediately decided that Carver can go fuck himself and if he's willing to kill a fucking child, he can go do it. I turn on him immediately, telling on him to his confidantes, straight up calling him a murderer to his face, jus grinding his gears. But he likes it, giving me the old "you're not so different, you and I" speech. Blech, fuck off Carver. It does look that he's been beating Alvin for no reason, so...that sucks. Eventually the crew gets it shit together and comes up with a plan, involving both bathing in guts and coincidentally getting everyone else killed. To prepare, Clementine steals a radio, and we prepare for the zombie horde in route.
The next day, everything goes according to plan, except how it doesn't and everyone is being watched closely and split up and Luke was found out and Kenny gets beat nearly to death because he took credit for something you did. Morale is low among the dissidents, but it's determined that we can totally pull this off, right now, as Clementine goes and turns up the PA system to attract the zombies, and tries to save Alvin but fails, and the group breaks out and corners Carver and hey, Kenny wants to return the favor! I decide that I...kinda don't need to see this, so now it's time for the escape part, which involves everyone covering themselves in zombie guts to sneak through the horde.
This, surprisingly, doesn't go well, as Sarah freaks the shit out when her dad is inexplicably bitten, and all hell breaks loose, including Kenny's girlfriend getting bit on the wrist by some random zombie. Clementine has to think fast; who do you attack? The answer is the wrist of the living person, because apparently that's how things work in zombie land, and with a scream, the episode is over.
It was surely the most intense episode so far, with the whole intrigue and Carver being a complete ass and so forth. But the fact that things just kind of completely went off the rails at the end makes this the least focused episode too. I mean, there were several characters I didn't even bother to mention. Because who cares, they weren't important in the end. It's mostly just bodies. That's the thing about the Walking Dead; every new character you meet is just a indicator that one of the older characters is going to die. It's just a random rotating cast of 7-9 people until the last episode. At least make one of them Bill Murray, dammit.
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