What I Played Today: October 17

Prison Architect

Listen, I know, I'm the worst. Sometimes things happen, sometimes you just forget to do anything interesting or relevant for like two weeks. ANYWAY.

I played a bit of Prison Architect today, because the official version is finally out, and it includes more tutorials instead of just the one in which you are told home to build a execution chamber, which you most assuredly WON'T need, and tells you to go for it. Now there's additional tutorials in which you are taught how to do things that you also don't need to do; like put out a fire and start a drug program. Well, at least they are showing off their mechanics.

What I Played Today: July 23

Guild Wars 2, Prison Architect, Reus, Gunpoint

Jumping Puzzles continue to confound the shit out of me. Why? WHY? Why would you make platforming a minor game element in your MMORPG? Should I be playing this with my XBox Controller? Why do you literally hate me, Guild Wars 2? (Did kill a Megadestroyer tonight though. You could tell he was mega because he was bigger.)

Played some Prison Architect, nobody has stabbed anyone yet. I consider this a success.

Also played Reus. I LOVE how many numbers are in this game, but I just like numbers, so that might have something to do with it.

Also beat Gunpoint. The game is shorter than I thought, but still pretty clever. I was told very recently that the writing in the game reminded the speaker of my general cadence, and I don't know how much to trust this statement, because I cannot be this clever. The gameplay is fun, and the story doesn't make a TON of sense, but hey, in the end you get to murder some jerks for no reason (SPOILERS), and I enjoyed it a lot.

What I Played Today: May 15

Prison Architect, Guild Wars 2

I had seen someone play a video game, and then I bought that video game, even though the game is very definitely not done. Prison Architect is a game where you run a prison, but I was just super intrigued about how things were built. You designate something needs to be built, and then a worker has to pick up the supplies and physically walk over there and install it. That's great! But yeah, I started a few prisons, and there's a bit of an issue. In the current version of the game (which will no doubt change), you start with an empty field and a few workers, and apparently how the conversation with the government went like:

ME: "Hey, I'm thinking about building a jail."

GOVERNMENT: "Great, we'll be sending eight violent prisoners tomorrow."

ME: "Wait, I haven't even laid the foundation for..."

GOVERNMENT: "Here's $50,000."

ME: "Oh, um...alright."

So it is just constant touch-and-go. I do manage to get a holding area and an administration office up in time when I start a new prison, but I had one prison in which I had designated cells in a building that was still under construction, which the guards take a sign to move the prisoners into their cells. Mind, there are not actual walls around these cells, they just count as a cell because there is a bed in there. So the guards walk the prisoners over, lets them go, and the prisoner immediately tries to escape. What's keeping him? There was even one cell that, due to the way I had set up the building, had an unlocked door to the outside INSIDE IT. But sure, guards, just throw a prisoner in there. So maybe I'll wait until the game is closer to being done.

Also played Guild Wars 2. I hit level 80 and there was zero fanfare. NONE. But I did do some of the story quest, which was nonsense. There was one in which there were just a gazillion zombies and they kept asking you to kill them and I'm like, GUYS, there is no way I can kill all these zombies, be cool. But I completed it, so that's great. And I got a cool new ring.