What I Played Today: April 1

Bloodborne

I decided that I wanted to play Bloodborne again? Someone was talking about it and then I was like, "YEAH! Maybe?" and so I made a new character and started from the beginning and dealt with the first nonsense corridor and got to the big guy behind the door and he killed me. Because he always kills me the first several times I see him. And it would be nice to just...walk up to him without having to deal with 20 guys beforehand. It's just...so discouraging knowing I can't just give it another go like right away.

What I Played Today: April 16

Bloodborne

Wasn't I playing this Bloodborne game? I was? Oh, I still know what I'm doing because I can kill all the guys in Shit Alley? Alright cool, I'll level up once and go after Father Guido again and oh fuck he killed me pretty much immediately, fantastic, goddamn it Bloodborne.

What I Played Today: April 8

Bloodborne, Life is Strange

So...remember that guy in Bloodborne? With the axe? Yeah, that guy can go fuck himself. I've tried to murder him like half a dozen times, and each time he gets me, because he's a huge jerk. I have determined he has three distinct phases. The first stage is real easy to deal with, because he has his little axe and a gun, and I can get up on him and just wail and twirl around him. Then he switches to his two-handed axe, which hurts like hell and hard to read, but still doable. Oh, and then there's the part where he explodes into an unstoppable werewolf. Yeah, fuck that stage. So I'm kinda stuck in Bloodborne at the moment.

I did play a couple of chapters of Life is Strange, episode 2, in which you are a teenage girl with time travel powers. One of your friends is having a hard time because someone released a video of her making out with people while very drunk, and whoops she comes from a very religious household! Her aunt Midge is a real bitch! So you comfort her as best you can, then go have breakfast, and spend a bit too much time doing video game-y stuff like using time travel to predict future events and guess how much junk is in someone's pockets. It felt a little like busywork, but whatever. Then I was sent on a goddamn fetch quest in a junkyard, so I stopped for the day.

What I Played Today: April 7

Bloodborne

Hey look, after some trial and error, I finally figured out how to play this game. And if the off-chance that you don't want some general spoilers about Bloodborne that you aren't aware of already:

What I Played Today: April 6

Bloodborne, Fantasy Life

I made a sad, futile run to try to get through that dumb alleyway in Bloodborne, managed to get past all the townsfolk (by killing them), and then got to the other side of the courtyard only to find a giant hunchback dude that I didn't want to fight, which is too bad, because he wanted to fight me, and he beat the crap out of me. Screw you, hunchback dude.

I also played like five minutes of Fantasy Life; trying to kill some wraiths, which are just as bad as those hunchbacks! Wraiths and hunchbacks!

What I Played Today: April 4

Bloodborne

Welp, I tried, but I didn't manage to not buy Bloodborne. I got started after a full 45 minutes of downloading an update, managed to stumble my butt through the first little section, realized I just wasted a lot of "blood echoes" (BLOOD ECHOES?), and restarted, doing it right this time.

I do love the speed, though! The game is a lot faster and interesting that Dark Souls, although it is still ridiculously obtuse, and for some goddamn reason the first real section of the game is...just not built for normal people. It's this long alley way that ends in a small plaza with 15 goddamn monsters standing around. That's...that's way too many dudes to just throw at your novice players, From Software. I can understand why I'm seeing a lot of people just mad when they first picked up this game after hearing how great it is. This first section is, frankly, bullshit. ESPECIALLY since you can't level up, you can't upgrade your weapon, and the only thing worth spending "blood echoes" on is a better armor set that I acquired in, like, a half an hour.

Bloodborne: We Made This Game for Twenty People