What I Played Today: March 31

Mass Effect 2, Mass Effect 3

I have finished up Mass Effect 2 with the super exciting Arrival DLC, which was pretty dang good, even though the achievements they gave me to do were bullshit. But it set up the next game nicely, and after an additional few minutes of dicking around, I realized I had had enough, and moved on to the next thing, Mass Effect 3! It is one number higher!

The game starts on Earth, in which something awful happens, and it sets off the main conflict. It involves Reapers, and you knew that. It is some pretty intense stuff, these things are terrifying, and eventually Shepard gets off Earth and heads to Mars, where some more bullshit happens. Turns out those guys who act like bad guys are some serious dickish bad guys after all. Man I hate them suddenly. But I have set off the main plot, met some good folk, and tried to punch a lady, and I totally whiffed it! It was pretty embarrassing. But I like it! Trying to get in touch with all the ways they've decided to make gameplay more like Mass Effect 1 will be confusing, as well as all the new changes, but I am looking forward to it! I will enjoy my journey!

What I Played Today: March 24

Mass Effect 2

I played through another DLC today, and it was pretty good, but man am I sick of shooting dudes. It was just wave upon wave of asshole, and it just didn’t feel worth it. Just get on with the story bits, jerks. I don’t need to kill every single mercenary in the universe. But the thing I expected to happen involving the Shadow Broker happened, and then I got to walk around and read up on a bunch of hidden stuff. Who has crushes on who, how Miranda handles her dating life (which is hilarious), watching Jacob do seat-ups. It’s pretty good content, I enjoy it. So, just one more and then I can officially start Mass Effect 3. And just in time for everyone to stop being super butthurt about the ending.

What I Played Today: March 21

Mass Effect 2

I played through the Overlord DLC today, and it was actually pretty good. I felt like complaining how it wasn't worth $7 for a second, but then I got into it and it had some really good beats. The tragedy of the rogue VI who went crazy is fairly well done, and the section involving the elevator was legitimately frightening. There was a nice little joke when you are driving around the idyllic countryside that is the center map, but when it is repeated every time you return there, it loses a bit.

Also went and talked to my crew about how the mission went, and to my massive disappointment, I get one throwaway line about how they are all disappointed in me, then they pretend it never happened. It's...not good, especially when certain people who seem really excited about what we are going to do once the big mission is over continue to repeat their hopes. Come on, Jacob, let's go get crunk! What are we waiting for! I did really like Kasumi's dialogue though; she apparently already knows who I did it with, and makes the same observation I did (we did it there?!). It was pretty great.

What I Played Today: March 18

Mass Effect 2, Peggle

Let me first mention that Peggle was on sale, and I haven’t played Peggle to any real extent, so I downloaded and played Peggle for like an hour. Why did I suddenly detour my quest to play Peggle? Because something big and scary happened in Mass Effect 2, that’s why. I want to talk about it in detail, so I’m going to drop hide the part where I talk about the endgame.

SPOILERS DUMMIES.

What I Played Today: March 17

Mass Effect 2

Almost there! It turns out just walking right onto that collector ship was a big old trap, but we got out of there because Shepard always gets out of there. Then finished up nearly all of the recruiting and loyalty missions, it was pretty interesting. Took Grunt to his bar mitzvah, which involves shooting a ton of shit, just straight up let Garrus kill a guy, went with Jack to go check out a sweet explosion. Also recruited another old team member, Tali, who was way too willing to join me, and a totally awesome samurai lady, who has an evil daughter who I helped seduce and then murder, because that’s how you handle evil asari. Or good asari. The point is, they are getting seduced.

Figuring my crew was pretty well along, I finally got back onto the main plot and hunted down this microchip or whatever that would allow us to travel through the big scary gate without dying. There were way too many zombies here, you guys. I was not at all happy with the number of zombies, it was some really scary gameplay. I also ran into a geth who let us know that all geth aren’t bad guys, so that’s nice. What a friendly guy. And then I was sitting at this point of almost there, and I figured I should really look into whether the DLC was worth playing. It is, apparently, so I downloaded the two bits that are good to have before the final mission, including one more damn person I have to recruit, and wait patiently for that to download while quickly catching up on the first season of Downton Abbey.

What I Played Today: March 16

Mass Effect 2

Yes I know! I’ve resolved to finish it this weekend, so this is how it will go. I finished up the bloody Firewalker missions, and they are officially stupid. All they are is flying around in a dumb jumping spaceship. It is ridiculous. Also another recruitment to get things moving again, this time the guy on the box cover Thane, the assassin. He assassinates people. I remember this mission from PAX when this was being shown, and remember it being ridiculously hard, but here it was no problem. Hm. Oh, and once I got him to join up, we were immediately thrust on a mission to take a look at some derelict collector ship, the same collector ship that attacked us at the beginning of the game, and apparently at the middle of the game. So, is there literally only one collector ship? How have we not taken this thing out yet?

What I Played Today: March 15

Mass Effect 2

More Mass Effect. I went to the Asari homeworld, ran into some old friends who have some weird new hobbies. Shot a shitload of Eclipse mercenaries. That'll teach them to go out of print. (Joke no one gets.) I also talked with the most intriguing bartender; an Asari matriarch whose father was a Krogan. I was really digging what this lady was putting down, weirdly, finding her life very interesting, and her attitude appealing. Great writing, is all I have to say.

Oh, also did another loyalty quest, but I think I've found the extra ability I'll stick with, unless something awesomer comes along. The barrier that Jacob lent me is very very useful, I can pop it whenever I feel like I'm in danger of dying. It makes surviving the ridiculous firefights that I have to trudge through a lot easier; I only get killed when I don't have time to throw it up.

What I Played Today: March 14

Mass Effect 2

Everyone keeps on talking about the Mass Effect! So, it's time to catch up. I was smack in the middle of Mass Effect 2, so it's back in the seat. It took a while for me to figure out what I did already, and how the dang shooter portions worked, but after some troubles, it's back in the saddle. I've mainly attacked the loyalty missions that are popping up like daisies; every time I complete one, there's another one waiting for my attention. I stopped some creepy kult, ran into Wrex again, did some lame platforming, some lame tower defense...it's weird how they just throw random dang elements into this game without warning. But it's pretty good! Lot of story, lot of adventure. The combat segments have a tendency to be awful, but I am enjoying them somehow, finally getting ahold of my abilities. I look forward to finishing the mission!

What I Played Today: February 20

Wrath of Ashardalon, You Don’t Know Jack, Mass Effect 2

Another attempt of the D&D board game, this one went a lot better. We were moving quickly and sneaking past monsters we didn’t want to kill, running for the chamber room on the far side of the dungeon (although the way the tiles landed, it ended up being adjacent to the entrance). The majority of the enemies are still too fat, and sentries are still the worst, but we eventually made it to the last room and had to kill four enemies, a simple task with dailies. The chamber mechanics are weird, since all it really does is replicate choosing which adventure you’re going to do by making it random instead, and I still don’t get the point of treasure tokens. They need to release a module to mix the two games soon, because at the moment they feel like two different games with similar mechanics.

I got floored in You Don’t Know Jack, just getting answers wrong left and right. It’s the Jack Attack that kills me, because I just am not fast enough on the trigger, so if my opponent knows the answer, I’m boned.

Also played some more Mass Effect. I got to the halfway point of the game, where you finally get to shoot at the big bad’s forces (and they are creeeeeepy), and then it’s back to the grind of finding some friends. The storytelling has improved, although the game puts a lot of import on a scene that I didn’t find all that engaging. I think the reason it fell apart is because it’s supposed to play out like two ex-lovers encountering each other once again, but because of my choices in the first game it doesn’t work out that way. (Are those details too specific? I’m not very good at spoilers.)

What I Played Today: February 19

Mass Effect 2

I’m back into Mass Effect 2, because I need to pass this already with the rumbles of Mass Effect 3 already on the horizon. I played through a bit, and rescued some more of my bros, and I must comment on one of the rock-stupidest plans by a bad guy I’ve seen in a long time. It makes a small amount of sense; of course it’s a video game and of course you need a challenge where you kill some dudes, but the set-up here is just so dumb.

So you’re going onto a prison ship in order to pick up a prisoner who will be really helpful to you, a powerful psionic named Jack. You show up, and the guards politely ask to have your guns. This makes complete sense; it’s a prison ship after all, and you have some powerful guns. You aren’t even allowed to comply, you just keep on shouting that you absolutely will not, and eventually the warden relents, saying that security can handle three armed people walking around the ship. You walk around for a bit, stop a beating if you feel like it, and then go to processing. You step through a door to see an empty cell, and the warden gets on the intercom and politely asks you to get in and become his prisoner. You say no, and then shoot your way out to find Jack.

Now. The warden’s motives suddenly make no sense. If the warden intended to kidnap you the entire time, why didn’t he confiscate your guns? I’d understand if a snivelly middle manager relented and let you in, but this is the man who plans to keep you hostage. Why would he give you an advantage at all? Why does he let you tool around the ship for as long as you want with your two powerful allies? Why doesn’t he try to separate you from your friends? Why doesn’t he try to trick you into a cell, instead choosing to politely ask you to be held captive? Why don’t they use those shield pylons that they make a point of acknowledging to trap you? Why does he lead you to the part of the ship that’s practically adjacent to the criminal you’re here to get anyway? You’ve never been here before, you wouldn’t know where to go to find Jack. Why don’t they seal the door and gas the room? Why choose to kidnap you in a room with adequate cover? Why don’t they do anything besides send in twelve guards to get shot? This is the absolute laziest plot contrivance; the warden goes out of his way to choose the only plan that you can quite easily escape from. It’s almost like he had the idea to betray you while he was walking down the hall with you, and had absolutely no time to prepare. It’s not like he didn’t know you were coming.

Hell, Shepard shouldn’t have even gone inside. He should have sent some scrubs, maybe Miranda or Jacob or even Kelly, just so the primary investment wasn’t being put in a vulnerable position. Then they could get kidnapped, and you would have to rush in and rescue them. At least that would have made some sense, and still have been an engaging mission.

But maybe this idiot just can’t do anything right. After killing all the guards, you head to the cryo tube where they are holding Jack (which, stupidly, is right next door to where they tried to kidnap you). You are ready to open it, except one of your teammates comments that if you open up the tube, it will release all the prisoners in the cellblock. What? Why? Again, I’d understand if we had to blow the power or something, but we are in the cellblock control room. They can’t independently open the individual cells? You’d think that would be a common feature. But screw it, you open it anyway, and this stupid is on Shepard. Jack completely freaks and kills all the robots in the room, then blows a hole in the ship and goes on a rampage. Shepard and crew just kinda watch this happen, not once interfering or even saying hi before Jack is long gone. Then you have to chase Jack through the ship as Jack causes hull damage and explosive decompression in nine of the 30 cell blocks, killing thousands.

Was Jack going to react this way no matter what? In that case, why release Jack at all? Why isn’t Jack dead? This is obviously an unstable individual, and the warden must have known something like this would have happened, so why even make it a possibility? Even if Jack’s too valuable to kill, why doesn’t the cryo opening process keep the prisoner unconscious until he are off the dang ship? This warden is just the worst person at his job. Colonel Klink was better at keeping prisoners under control than this guy.

I’m just really disappointed because Bioware is usually quite good at stringing together a good plot, and here it feels like they handed it off to an intern and asked him to make it happen without any regard for how stupid everyone would need to act in order for the events to happen as prescribed. It’s very dumb, and I’m going to try my best to forget about this.

What I Played Today: December 19

Gamma World, 7 Wonders, Mass Effect 2

Roleplaying Club today, which always requires me to get up earlier than I want, but it went alright. The group had decided that it was a-ok to just skip our campaigns while the holidays wrecked havoc on our social lives, and I brought my as-yet unopened Gamma World box. So, we cracked that I started taking a look through it, slowly plodding through the book to make everyone a character. The zaniness of this game leads to some interesting characters, such as a giant doppelganger, which the player retrofitted into a huge mobile mirror, a pack of mind-controlling rats, the Shockroach (electric cockroach), and the only human character who spent the majority of his time using psychic attack.

The game went fine, as I just plodded through the adventure provided (since I didn’t have any time to prepare), and it’s definitely 4th edition D&D. There are a lot of encounters provided, but it’s okay because they move fast, mainly because the alpha cards provide huge encounter-crashing abilities, and you don’t ever have to worry about healing because nobody has any healing abilities and you get all your hit points back after a short rest. You’re also not attached to your character, so if, for example, a player uses an alpha ability that backfires and kills his entire pack of rats, he takes five minutes to roll up an identical pack of kittens…which ends up dying while it attempts to use a different alpha power within five minutes of appearing. That was a bit hilarious, but after that it was just encounter upon encounter, and one of the players fell asleep because he keeps forgetting to do that at night, so we eventually gave in.

Once two people left, we played a bit of 7 Wonders, which went well. I can’t really articulate why, but I really like this game. It’s something about the scoring, about the limited decision points, about the speed of the game that just makes it very attractive. And there’s still a lot of variety that I haven’t tried yet, like the B side boards, and I kinda want more cards…anyway, very nice game, fun to play, although there was not nearly enough table space where we played.

Also played some more Mass Effect 2, got through the mission that was kicking my butt, I died maybe an extra five times before I finally got the hang of it, then it was easy pants. I started screwing around, talking to people, doing some side missions. I’m still bothered by how often and frequently Shepard is expected to say “MAN, it sucks that I owe my life to Cerberus” to get paragon points. I’m roleplaying that he isn’t happy to be working for “the right side” but isn’t a complete dick about it either. I mean, it gets to the level that Shepard doth protest too much while happily using trillions of credits and opportunities provided by this “evil” corporation. They gave you life after death, a completely awesome ship, and free reign of the galaxy, Shepard! Stop whining!

I also received e-mails from a lot of people from the first game, which was neat, until I realized that I couldn’t respond or visit these people. It’s cool storywise, but when you see someone’s name there, you know for a fact that you won’t be seeing that character in the actual game. It’s a bit lame, but I guess it’s not that big of deal. Also more flirting with the secretary, which is just odd. I can’t get over the fact that they put the “let’s keep this professional” response in the renegade spot on the radial, because if it’s one thing I imagine a renegade doing, it’s shamelessly sleeping his way through his crew.

What I Played Today: December 12

Mass Effect 2

I played a lot of Mass Effect 2 today, getting into the main mission and walking around the revived Normandy, making friends with the crew. I like that Joker and Dr. Chatwas are back, and the new side characters seem like organic characters, although man am I sick of Shepard feeling obligated to ask pretty much everyone why they would work with Cerberus. Mighty surprised that nobody answers, “What the fuck does it matter to you?” or “Why? Is that a big deal?” I also like that Shepard can unabashedly flirt with his secretary, and she is totally into it. Best/Worst part: these options are in the spot on the radial usually reserved for paragon-aligned responses. The game implies it’s polite and appropriate to do so, rather than sleazy and unprofessional.

I went to the Citadel and am saddened by how much of it is locked down now. I can’t even visit the Council, because they think I’m weak sauce now, and the rest of the level is self-contained into a single ward, with some stores but not much else except a lot of references to events of the first game. I can’t visit the Presidium, which sucks because I wanted to talk that dang secretary again, check up on prophecy lady. (The game does mention her in a news brief, in which is turns out she’s apparently planning on leaving the Citadel due to accusations of information leaks.)

So it was time to do the mission, collecting a crew to do something. First to the usual cesspool of alien misery that is the mining planet, complete with a dramatic overlord, various gangs of toughs, squalid living conditions and so much alien racism. My first recruitment mission saw me running through a slum under quarantine to get to a doctor working there. I can’t really think of anything specific to say about it…it sure felt like a mission, that’s for sure. I guess I’m glad to see a mission in Mass Effect that isn’t “unique alien nobody’s ever heard of tried to kill you.” No wait, hang on, it’s revealed that is what’s happening after all. Boy, there are sure are a lot of murderous unknown races in the Mass Effect universe.

Also did the second mission in the area that revealed that one of the people I’m trying to recruit is, in fact, a former teammate! I really shouldn’t have been surprised, especially when the identity of the target was so long shrouded in secrecy (also the fact that his name appears in a DLC description), but it was nice to see him. And the premise of this mission was awesome, in which the teammate has been holed up in a building while three gangs throw their entire arsenal at him. It’s a neat mission, very straight-forward but with a lot of potential, but now I’m stuck, because in doing “the right thing” by leaving one of my crew behind to help the recruit guard the roof, I now have to clear out the basement with a man down. Ick.

What I Played Today: December 11

Labyrinth: The War on Terror, Mass Effect 2, Deadly Premonition

I got a lot of new games today, including 7 Wonders, Mass Effect 2 with a working first disc, and Labyrinth: The War on Terror. This is a war game by GMT, but it has an intriguing and almost terrifying premise, stopping (or controlling) the Jihadist movement in the Middle East. It’s a weird game in which there is very little direct conflict, with the US army powerful enough that it can completely take over a country with a single play. The only problem is that it locks down nearly half the units, and the US still has to worry about the Jihad taking out of governments of the 16 or so other Muslim countries in the region. It’s a weird game, that focuses on a lot of weird things. It’s also interesting to see how certain controversial events in recent US history are interrupted in game terms. For example, the Patriot Act is actually very good for the US player, because it successfully keeps the Jihadists out of the US pretty well, and enables cards that can take a big hit to the terrorist’s funding. Which is good, because if the Jihadists manage to set off an WMD in America…they win. I literally gasped when I read that was a potential win condition.

I played the solitaire game for a while, which is tough. If you don’t take control of how things are going in the Middle East, things get bad quickly, with the automated spread of extremism can go unchecked and turn governments poor quickly. I played for three hours (took a while to learn how to play and stuff), but felt completely screwed, because Europe was growing soft on terrorism, making my initial “get-er-done” attitude difficult to maintain, and I couldn’t swing it around to get rid of the massive penalty I was taking…so I cleaned up and gave up. Hopefully the next time I try I’ll know what I’m doing.

Also got to play Mass Effect 2, which I instantly like. I didn’t like the fact that the game felt like pulling a huge reset button at the beginning, but it’s almost believable, and they streamlined enough to make the game interesting without bogging it down. The amount of history is also great, although the world has changed a ridiculous amount in two years. I was a bit concerned how many robots there were just hanging around, considering…well…the Geth. But hey, guess that’s something you just get over.

Also more Deadly Premonition, in which I got past the hospital scene I saw before and got into stuff I hadn’t seen yet. Had some lunch, chatted some more, went to the gas station to see a hot chick clean my car and meet her meathead husband who likes to talk to “Benjamin Franklin.” I also found a human arm bone, which is stupid suspicious, but Agent York just takes it in stride.